I found a lump in my breast on July 29, 2011…i was in the shower washing when I felt a lump that I had never felt before.  I immediately got out and called my obgyn.   I got an appointment that morning with the nurse practitioner.  

She felt it and sent me to the next hospital for a mammogram and ultrasound.  I was scared, but still thought, it was probably nothing.   During the ultrasound, the tech said I needed to get a biopsy that day.  But then after leaving the room and returning, she said my obgyn would be in touch.  My obgyn did not use that hospital for the biopsy.  So I had to wait until the next week to get into see the breast cancer specialist doctor.  On august 8th I had my biopsy.  I asked how it looked and she said it looked fine, that if she was to guess, it was benign.  

I left feeling confident that it was nothing. 

On August 10th, about 2 pm, I got a call from her.  At that point it kinda gets blurry.  She asked if I was somewhere I could talk and I said I was with the kids but yes and that is when she said that the biopsy came back and it was cancer.  I was in shock.  she said she couldn't see me until Friday but was going to set me up with a bone scan and other test the next day and that i needed to get to the hospital to pick up the drink.  

I called craig and he said he would be meet me home.  

I put the kids to bed and told them I was crying because i was so tired.  

Craig got there, the doctor had already called him to discuss everything and my emotions and to make sure to keep me off the computer.  I had no interest in the computer.  

we decided to call my mom, who i had just in the past day had told about my lump, but i had reassured her that it was nothing.  

I called and asked what are you doing for the next few days and she asked why and asked if i had gotten my test results back.  I couldn't talk anymore, I gave the phone to craig and he continued to talk to her and they made the plan that she would fly in that night.  

I needed her here to take care of my babies, so that they could go on with their life as normal as possible.  I knew that i would have lots of doctor appointments and test and I needed her here for them, so that I didn't have to worry about them.  

I was in shock, but i was also scared.

On thursday, I had, it seemed like, every test possible…to see if the cancer was anywhere else. 

Friday morning we met with the breast cancer specialist doctor.  When we walked in, she didn't look us in the eyes and we felt like, oh, its bad!  We sat down and spoke with her nurse first.  She went through the test results and what a relief, it was not in my bones.  Next the doctor came in and we "talked about the options"….i can went in to space after she said that I would defineatly go thru chemo and I would lose my hair. But if I chose to have only a lumpectomy along with chemo, I would also have to have radiation.  But if I removed the breast with cancer, I would not have to have radiation.   And depending on my type of cancer, I would also take a pill.  She thought that I should go ahead and cut it so that when if fell out, it would be so devastating.  I didn't listen much after that, I didn't care about losing my breast, I could handle that, but I could not handle loosing my hair.  Which was somesort of amazement because in the past I had always been very drastic with my hair.  I sat their thinking about all that it meant to loose my hair and cried as my husband asked questions.  We hurried out because my mom was waiting with my children at their school…it was meet the teacher day.  I had cried what little makeup i had on, off.  I avoided eye contact and conversation with most. I only told my two closer friends and their response was "but you are so young"..which is exactly what I thought.  I was so young!  And the other I told, her mom died of breast cancer when she was in her early 20s.  

I had a double mastectomy August 29th, 2011.  I came home from the hospital with drains, that I did not know i would have, since I really did no research.   I told my mom to make me what is now a flowerpotz scarf.  I felt great and i wanted to go on with my life without everyone looking at me thinking, "she has breast cancer"  On september 2nd, 4 days after my surgery, I went shopping, ate lunch out and rode with my mom to pick my children up.  That night I went out to dinner with my husband and I felt "normal".  

I hope that whether you are the one wearing this or you are buying this for a friend or family, that whoever shall wear a flowerpotz scarf….will feel NORMAL.


Stephanie and I met when our children attended the same preschool.  We realized that we had both lived in Chattanooga at the same time but did not know each other.  Our children attended different grade schools and we talked less frequently.  When she was diagnosed with breast cancer she called and asked me which general surgeon my husband, David,  would recommend.  At this point she hadn't even thought about having a reconstruction, which is what my husband does.  He helped her choose a general surgeon and he did her immediate reconstruction the same day as her mastectomy.  We began to talk more regularly again as we helped guide her through the medical maze of all the doctors involved in a breast cancer diagnosis.  After her surgery she came to see David at  his office wearing a "scarf" her mother had made to hold her drains.  He said "What is that?  I need that for all my breast cancer patients!  You and Susan should make those and sell them"  And the rest is history.  We live in Jackson MS with our 5 children.
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